Over the past three weeks of holidays and a marathon of family dinners/teas/lunches/visits, I have finally figured out how my in-laws view Eco.

I’m not sure if this is Spain in general, or the world in general, or just our family, but apparently, the only reason that Patri and I have brought Eco into this world is so that the women of Patri’s family have a new play doll.

I am somewhere between bemusement and annoyance about this, depending on my hormone levels on any given day.

As soon as another family (aunt, cousin, sister-in-law’s sister…) comes to visit, the following scenario plays out: the father of the family sits on the couch, keeping his jacket on and mumbling “well, then, let’s…” every other five minutes, the small kids tearing up the apartment, he older kids sitting bored on the couch playing with their cell phones, while the wife has walked in, picked up Eco (no matter whether he was sleeping in his crib), planted herself on the couch with him and continues to ignore her husband’s indirect pleas to leave while playing with our child as if Eco was exclusively her new play doll. Pinching his cheeks and starting to snap cell phone pictures included.

If it were my birth family, I’d tell them to back the hell off. Since they are my in-laws, I gnaw my teeth and shoot daggers at the cheek-pinching and cell phone flashes. Especially if they make Eco cry and then we get told that “uff, what a strange kid, how can he not be used to noises and people!”

Well, because we don’t thrown him at everyone since we actually like to spend our time with him, and also because at home, We. Don’t. Yell.

Really, all the women of the family are vying for their chances to take hold of Eco with something that verges on scary despair, as if the contact with someone so small, cute and defenseless and young would bring them back their own youth. Of course, Eco can’t really protest yet and as long as he can’t tell everyone to go jump in the lake, I try to balance my protectiveness with his state if mind. As long as he seems fine, I shut up and smile. As soon as he starts to cry and people still move him around like a doll, all hectic and nervous, with a new position every two seconds, I jump in, although Patri usually is quicker than I am.

Patri’s mother is also very fond of Eco. That’s great, and I’m very thankful for how naturally she accepts us and him and Patri’s and my marriage and everything, but sometimes, the grandmother hormones turn her into one big little girl who wants her doll, and she wants it NOW.

When she comes over to lunch, lunch takes four hours and it is difficult to convince her to let go of Eco while eating. When Eco starts to cry because he is hungry, she still doesn’t let go of him and more often than not you actually need to get up and take him away from her so that he can get his milk. When we visit her and leave and need to put him in his car seat, she walks onto the street and plants herself next to the car door to watch, making it nigh impossible for me and for Patri to move and fasten Eco’s seatbelt. And when we go to change Eco, she tags along to not miss a second of her grandson’s presence.

Okay, it is cute. It really is. But it’s also scary. And sometimes, it bugs the heck out of me, especially when she and all the women of Patri’s family are surprised that we apparently did NOT have this child so that they have something to play with, acting as if it is their natural right to march in and just take over.

Please, at least ask. And be a little considerate – when he cries, don’t yell or move him around frantically.

I don’t won’t to be unsocial or don’t let anyone near him, but I really don’t like the way they treat him like a doll or a toy.

When Eco was crying during a particularly noisy Christmas family dinner and we put him in the baby wrap for the duration of the (lengthy) lunch, we hadn’t gotten up for five minutes afterwards when the first sister-in-law asked with indignation, “Well, now you’re finally going it give him to us for a while, no?”

Argh!

I’d never even *ask* to hold another mother’s newborn baby out of respect for her and the baby and their still new bond. Not even my own mother would pick up Eco without making sure it’s okay with him, with Patri and with me.

Eco. Is. Not. A. Toy.

And I’d love to make the whole family write that on the blackboard a 100 times, just like Bart Simpson.

Okay, rant over. Really, is this normal? Am I normal? Are all families like this?

Enlighten me, please.

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